52th

so fast.... =(
my term 1 of college life end soon..
1stly was alone then get to know new friends, new subject, new building..
life style had change..
feel bored of driving.. yadayada..
n now.. 2 more days..
n say bye to the pass.. don look back.. keep forward..

some human said don look back! face the future..
but some how.. if u don look back.. how u know wat u actually lefting behind u..?

i really enjoying class in DT37.. although have to be formal everyday.. heels.. killing me in the 1st mouth.. == snail speed lift.. n soon DT37 will split into 2 groups.. sigh.. why...... but everyone knew wat's the problem right.. n i really really enjoy the time that we had been together.. stuck in hostel, sleep in hostel, visiting ppl's hostel xD fun though.. also really enjoy DT34 trip.. best trip ever.. n get to know wat is college life all about.. thx..

trying my best to work on for my life.. holding something on hand.. don feel like giving up since train for so many year.. ermm.. time will choose for me..

feel so tired nowadays.. zzZZ

51th

maybe I'm the one who expecting too much..
feel like listen to the sound of sea wave......

50th

如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到
心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己
像是空气
大家都吃著聊著笑著
今晚多开心
最角落里的我
笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意
听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望
装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情

49th

dear diary...

I'm gonna make them regret..

we're gonna make them regret for it, okay?

alright...

i will be here for u..

so don cry....

the pain from the heart will gone k;

after u face the pain from the body..

don cry.. not deserve.. at all...

wrap of Ur tears let's do it again..

49th

---dear diary...,

i'm upset.. really upset..

i don wan to give up, i never ask to give up in this sport..
really.. if i wan to give up 4years or 5years ago i will already let it go.. but i hold it until today..
maybe i pause after SPM was wrong....
i shouldn't pause.. pause doesn't mean stop right..

this year finally i step back on the mat.. realize.. everything change...

last time in school team girls need to base base base base..
now they wan girl fly fly fly fly..

CHARM i really don know wat to say.. i wan to try but in this moment everything make me hard to cross this line...

some says, they only care about team A

some says, they only care about the boys n the girl who can fly very well n flexible n they look at weight nyadayada..
so? not i don wan to fly right.. in high school who wan to base me? boys n girls split into 2 n do their own stuff.. weight i really don know wat to say.. i'm speechless.. totally..
now wat i'm trying to do is stretch my leg every night before i sleep.. stretching my non-usual leg..
back hand spring i tried before wat.. thx to don know who say stop n just leave it..

i'm not blaming anyone here diary.. i just... i just upset..

it used to be wat i proud of.. but now..... ya.. when i'm in high school..
i don wan to give it up....... i'm so down.................
i bleed, i cry, all the pain, all the injury.... sigh..

*smile*
but i guess they might be saying.. so? so wat? everyone do not only u..

///// rannie day;
\\\\\\ rannie heart;
//////

in this moment my heart is bleeding...........
this feeling make me feel that i'm so useless........
in this moment my confident all gone... gone
u r so cruel... to me......
i never ever feel this way before.. fail! wat i build up for so many years now i feel like it's all drop!
u make me so down CRUEL U! *tears drop*

48th

i used to be a normal girl with normal friends, normal family, normal life...
it had change since 9 years ago..
i move away from my usual place from here to there..
have to be independent or else nothing i can do..

thw world is cruel when i'm in primary, in high school, move on to work, now college......
u can't 100% guess ppl's mind..
u can still guess but.... always try to keep the last card to ur self.. no all-in

primary to high school now college..
not used to camera now i do
not used to smile now i do
not used to this not used to that..
not used to be too friendly now i still.....

someone said i'm talk a lot... in my heart was thinking: i don think u wan to know how i looks when i'm quiet.
used to be cold...
used to be a damn it dumb stupid girl who easy control by other ppl now i don't...
at lease at this moment..
i don know..

sometimes.. when i'm mad... i'm not really show n the devil will pop out n talk to me..
go ahead, u r right n they r wrong.. why r u keeping it to urself.. u r cruel.. to ur own self! u shall love urself more n don really bother about them..
angel will said: don keep it in ur heart tell them in a good way although they wont listen..

but i guess i more to the devil side.. i shall keep some for it.. *silent*
when u met the person same as u only u will feel it..
others if it bother u, u can throw it to the trashcan

i am still me.. but now i'm in the 50 50 world..
when i got it until 85 n i'm will be the winner

--dear diary, u r the one who understand me the most--

47th

just feel like post something here but i have no idea about wat to post actually..
happiness or sadness?
it's so complicated... *sigh*

in this moment i feel like post something happy like my college life, new friends, connie, foong, Penang trip fun..

but now I'm not really happy..
i am not happy.
*sigh*
something bothering me

aarrrgghhh.. 难道这是18岁的烦恼？有够白痴 ==

aahhh.. let's talk about happy thingy lah..
well.. let's welcome the DT37 haha..
i meet a lot of friends they all very fun funny.. ermm.. ya.. haha

Ching Nee.. from SRJK(C)Sungai Way.. wth right.. i also cannot remember her face.. wkaka...n she's the boy boy (u will find out why) orang jepun.. i 'za' her during the independent day.. u know how japan fight with tanah melayu ar? Merdeka!! hahaaaaa

Maliewann.. Mixture baby from local Thailand n local Chinese.. so she's local don ask her anything about Thailand she don know, ok.. don bully my friend lah.. xD

PeiLy.. homesick baby from Pahang.. cheer up girl.. cry can call us de mah =)

Si Pei.. the “放肆”creator.. cute n blur nuts
[this is roughly the ppl that i mix with or sit with in class lol]

Dylan.. Jellyfish from Penang. the girl girl xD video maker, hardworking =)
Chris Na... Sodium? haha to much chemistry then.. CheSong Oppa ^^ whenever he call me throw the phone i told myself have to use Korean n said yoposeyo? but fail always, cause i do HELLO? omggg.. FAILLL.. ei ei but he safe my life during lagoon le..
YouJun.. the pro of presentation.. everytime ChiChi i don know wat to do but in the end.. ==
Epoi, Kelly, Andy n others the fun kaki.. haha.. in class we have to try our best to speak the proper English because some of them wont understand ==
so.. ya.. try ur best..

andddd... the DT34! our senior lah actually..
JC--- Miss.Taylor's 2010
Vanessa---- mixture baby of indian n chinese.. state swimmer.. friendly :)
izwan--- same hometown with me.. during the penang trip we both suddenly hometown sick when we passed by perak.. omgg..
ofcasue that's more but i don know the name.. haha

N Maliewann, Ching Nee n I met the 'monkey', 'banana tree' and the 'banana' during the DT34 penang trip..
Vanessa so happy when she saw 6 of us became friends. lolx.. i know the feeling.. haha
haha.. we always say.. the monkey hide behind the banana tree n eating banana.. xD
fun..

ya.. and that's all the new faces that i met in Taylor's.. hhuuu~~~

11 days of holidays for Raya.. 6 days working... haihz..
miss connie n foong so badly.. but at lease we met...

---continue.....---

46th

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
不敢打给你 我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音
变得好熟悉
沉默的场景 做你的代替
陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉迷
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴

其实 没有我你分不清那些
彻别 接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑 才能够有你的体贴

其实 没有我你分不清那些
彻别 接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

never think that i will reopen my blog with this kind of mood.. i though i wil post something else which is more to happy side..
see, u just can't guess the world.

突然有一天想通了不会有结局，
不一样的观点，不一样的思想
只会让事情更难堪
好的朋友 不一定是好的情人
而不好的朋友 不一定是不好的情人
当时玩笑开大了。。好累